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Talking Back

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#1 tracky2


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Posted 06 November 2016 - 07:21 PM

Really stumped with L's attitude at moment and how to support him to watch how he says things. He is talking back to adults mainly mum and dad and when he is told it is innapropriate he disagrees and goes on to describe 'how children grow up and there voices and attitudes change' or states mater off fact how or why he says what he says, he's only 7.

We try and explain to him why what he said was not ok. Then he has time to think but he really doesn't get the link.

At moment he also thinks nothing off talking about other peers etc loudly because it's what he sees and can not see that it's not nice saying people are 'stupid etc' because they do things different from him.

What have other people found helps.

#2 queen claudia

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Posted 08 November 2016 - 12:58 PM

Hi there, 7 is very young and I think you might have a hard job on your hands getting him to understand. We constantly banged away at it like you did though and he did improve painfully slowly lol over time but it may be a case of just waiting for him to mature a bit more.


My son is now 13 and attends a fab independent school. He has social communication lessons (not the utterly crap lip service ones he used to get at mainstream but meaningful well thought out sessions) and he told us recently that it is really helping him with understanding other people and appropriate/inappropriate behaviour.


They have a SALT at each session but mostly it is run by the children themselves and they are given various scenarios and then critique each others 'performance' what they could have done better, what was good what wasn't etc. They all have social communication problems so they are all in the same boat. He loves the lessons!


I don't know if any of this is any use to you. I know when my son was much younger I managed to get him into a social communications group that was run by the local NAS society. He was nearer your sons age then although not sure how much it helped although he didn't attend for too long as unfortunately we couldn't continue with them.


Maybe you could see if there is something local you could find?

#3 apricot


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Posted 08 November 2016 - 04:26 PM

How are you explaining things to him?

Are you using lots of language and social reasons that make no sense to him. i.e. don't say X because Y will be upset. That's a social reason.

Try and give concrete logical reasons.

And don't correct him all the time - that way lies a child who never says anything in case he gets criticised.

Instead of telling him what not to say, try telling him what to say.

So turn 'X is stupid because she believes in fairies' into 'X believes in fairies. I think that is a stupid thing to believe'.

Think before you speak and expect it to take years of repetition

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