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They Don't Accept Their Difficulties.

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#1 lennie len

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Posted 22 July 2016 - 03:36 PM

Been some time since I last posted, so hello again.


Middle boy will be 16 in September.

He does not accept his difficulties and that he needs support.

He has had a hard time the past couple of year at school due to....you guessed it, mainstream teenagers.

This reinforces his need to refuse support and prove independence.


I have signed a form to say I will be his appointee for his DLA, but we will have a person come to the house to check this (as they did with my eldest).

Except he thinks he can handle his finances, and will likely tell them so.

I spoke to his SW a few months back who said she will support what I am saying as she has knowledge of his needs, but lately she has disappeared, so I might be doing this on my own.


Anyone else have experience and advice to share?


Example- whilst this young man excels at maths, and can budget, applying it to real life situations is different.

He gets five pounds to buy lunch with support worker on Saturdays and knows what shop sells the cheapest 400g bars of chocolate, at 31 pence a bar, and I kid you not, has spent the most part of the five pounds on chocolates and a multipack of the cheapest sausage rolls regularly, and hides the wrappers so I don't know this is regular (I have had to reinforce no multiple crap food purchases to support worker REGULARLY)


He loses personal things, which of course is my fault for sending him out on a countryside walk where he was chased off land by a mad man with two dogs for snapping a branch of a tree which resulted him having an itch attack and he dropped his phone (good phone it was too).

Lost count of the wallets he has lost.

I could go on.

So how do you prove someone needs an appointee if they are desperate to shun support, prove their independence and state "I can handle my OWN money THANKYOU", if the SW has disappeared off the face of the planet.

#2 caci


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Posted 22 July 2016 - 04:28 PM

I will Pm you...

#3 imperfect parent

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Posted 22 July 2016 - 06:09 PM

Good to see you back Lennie.


The question the assessor posed to DS1 "was what will you do if your money doesn't come in?" and he readily accepted that he would ask me to deal with it.  He just isn't interested in having any more money than he already has as it will mean making decisions which is something he finds very hard.  He is very able to manage his money once he has it, and I would have been happy for him to have control over his money had he wanted it; not quite the same situation as you.

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