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#16 bluewater

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 02:10 PM

Tracky, I'm really glad the birthday trip went so well. 

 

Unfortunately for my dd (who is 7 years younger than ds1), ds1 has spent every year since she was 2 telling her that Santa isn't real, that it's mum and dad.

 

It was heart breaking at play group age, and then it has been just plain difficult at school, and she has not been very popular with other parents around Christmas time. She is very literal herself, and she is in a class of children at school who are mostly younger than her. I have tried to explain that people believe different things and Christmas is different for everybody and to try and get her to understand that the little ones still believe in Santa and it's important to let them.

 

I think she has been able to do this this year... mostly.



#17 imperfect parent

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 09:24 PM

All too often what traditions cause unexpected stress that we only learn about later, if at all.  Things have improved here since I stopped trying to stick to tradition and introduced a more relaxed menu for Christmas day.  We still have lovely food, the difference is that we all get what we want having agreed the options a few days before.


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#18 tracky2

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Posted 16 December 2016 - 11:15 AM

My DS L truly believes in everything the tooth fairy, Easter bunny and santa, it's lovely but hard going when the questions start comming about why we give to other children etc at Christmas and why santa doesn't give presents to everyone.

My DS is such a mixture he hates imaginative play, struggles with being literal etc yet still believes. Cute really.

It's a shame because his expectations are so high about it all think he gets a bit overwhelmed and shuts down at times. Actually at the moment everything's proving to be a fight. Think schools tough going at moment so trying to make home a bit gentler, not easy when I'm still feeling rough and there's so much going on. Things like having a bath and even changing underwear is proving difficult.

We try and manage the expectations for him but it can be a bit off a mind field between excitement and enjoying all the festive activities ping on this time off year, Aswell as allowing some leeway but getting him to at least comoromise on baths etc

We also take the food difficulties away and offer L the things he likes and will eat, why stress on Christmas Day right? His diet is so restricted at the moment he's not even eating his packed lunch at school.

Actually writing this I've had a light bulb moment.

Here's me been thinking he's coping fine when he's actually the complete opposite, hmmm ..... need to watch how I'm managing him at the moment I think .

#19 caci

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Posted 16 December 2016 - 05:08 PM

Can I throw in a suggestion, that worked for us...

 

We found the 'fear' of maybe not receiving 'the most wanted gift' on Christmas day was huge, and overtook any enjoyment of opening presents.

 

So, our solution was for Santa to leave that gift  the evening before Christmas Eve. It meant Christmas Eve was taken up playing with the new gift, and left no time for worrying about Christmas Day


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#20 imperfect parent

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Posted 16 December 2016 - 08:53 PM


We also take the food difficulties away and offer L the things he likes and will eat, why stress on Christmas Day right? His diet is so restricted at the moment he's not even eating his packed lunch at school.

Actually writing this I've had a light bulb moment.

Here's me been thinking he's coping fine when he's actually the complete opposite, hmmm ..... need to watch how I'm managing him at the moment I think .

DS1's diet contracts when anxious, and I've lost count of the lunches he brought home and ate while I read the note from school telling me that he didn't like what was in his lunch box.  He still doesn't eat when stressed, and the stress could be anything from not having had input into his packed lunch, to something that happened at some point during the school day.



#21 tracky2

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Posted 20 December 2016 - 02:37 PM

So pleased L performed his nativity this morning and knocked it out the park

It turned out this was what was causing the anxiety for the last while.

Poor guy we talked it through a few nights and then today bam .... I couldn't be more proud. He was the host so he had a large talking part. He spoke clearly and loudly and even managed a change off tone Aswell.

We're celebrating by making truffles when he gets home.

Now we can get on with Christmas hopefully
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#22 queen claudia

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 06:49 AM

That's great tracky. So pleased it was a huge success and that the anxiety is over.

LE is starting to get a little difficult. He often is when away from his usual routine of school and then we have the added problem of needing (and wanting) to go out more which he hates.

Such a pity as he really looks forward to the time off but he gets very controlling, bad tempered and argumentative.

He has one pair of jeans. Lost count of the number of clothes I've bought and he refuses to wear even though he has tried them on and announced them as 'comfortable'.

So have to take him shopping for more which of course he will hate but can bribe him with ice cream lol!

Oh the joys of Christmas.

#23 mad cat lady

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 05:33 PM

J has handled Xmas better than usual this year, he has been a little stressed but no outburst's. He know's exactly what he is getting for Xmas and is actually looking forward to his stocking (every year just filled with tat but always good for a laugh).
I think the biggest reason for change is that J is besotted with my new grandson and he is is looking forward to the baby's reaction.

Because he is very physically active at college he has lost the excess wait and is looking good, this has resulted in him trying on a pair of jeans, my reaction was "Wow you look great, just look in the mirror" he now owns two pairs, first time in years he is out of joggers.
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#24 tracky2

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 10:28 PM

lol it's funny L ownes 1pair off jeans that are so soft there practically joggers with an elastic waist. There not exactly trendy but when needed they can be worn so that they look smarter than his joggers.

He also is fussy with his many pairs off joggers they can't have inlays or be synthetic, have to be soft inside and out, no skinnies for him.

It seems to be a common thread.

L's anxiety about the show has left but he's pushing all the time on the littliest things looking for a reaction or argument still. It's strange that such a happy time leaves our kids uncertain and anxious.

Think it's all to do with expectations that I can't really control because it's all in the hands off 'santa' who can do everything aparently

He's talking a lot about the naughty list because he knows he's pushing things. Meanwhile my Dd is skipping and bursting out in to Christmas songs every minute. Oh to be 5 again lol

#25 queen claudia

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Posted 22 December 2016 - 04:22 PM

We all went out today as LE had an appointment at hospital for his brace and we had lots of other bits and pieces to do. He was actually very well behaved even though he didn't want to go out and immediately wanted to know what we were doing tomorrow in other words he wants to stay in!

 

No doubt he'll be a handful tomorrow rattling around the house all day long.

 

Got turkey and beef and all the other last minute bits and pieces to feel relaxed now everything is done.

 

Going to have a tidy up tomorrow as house is a bit upside down as been so busy today.





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