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By Popular Demand - The Official Bullshit Thread

Local Authority excuses

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#1 Jolly Roger

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 07:11 PM

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Following this conversation, this thread has been created to put all the bullshit you've ever been told by authorities and service providers.

To start us off:


We are trying our best = We don`t give a toss
I know all about Autism = I read a leaflet once
Early intervention is vital = Come back in 6 or 7 years
We take your complaint very seriously = Hahahahahahahahaha
We have put you on our priority list = ***k off

You missed 'Lessons have been learnt' = oops screwed up there, never mind its no longer on our doorstep, least its gone away now


So post what the officials have said to you along with your translation of what they actually meant.

One I heard today:

We are tightening up our procedures = I don't care if he is entitled - he's not getting it.
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#2 imperfect parent

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 07:44 PM

We'll get back to you = we can't be bothered to deal with this right now
We all agreed at the meeting = some of us agreed with it and s*d what the parents said
A consultation was held = opinions were sought and ignored
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#3 PAC

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 07:47 PM

I got a letter today, No you can not have over night respite as we feel your son would be to vunerable/ too young. Even though the residential respite home does officaly take children from 11-12. So basicly we have to wait another 7 years to get over night respite.

Mmmm
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#4 Prosecco Queen

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 07:48 PM

CAMHS : " we're discharging him because he's too complex and won't engage with CBT" = our normal strategies don't work and we can't be bothered to think of any others..
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#5 PAC

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:01 PM

They take them from 5-18 not 11-12, but they don't refer till 11-12
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#6 tedybearr

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:08 PM

camhs......What help do you want = we cant help with that so we will make up something, although your son doesnt need help with it".It just makes us look good.
school........He doesnt need a statement = we cant be bothered when hes so compliant that no-one notices him.
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#7 Snickas

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:18 PM

CAHMS again -
"we feel the usual methods of giving him any therapy would be pointless and will affect his self confidence & self esteem, therefore we recommend that he takes 2 different types of anti-depressants (stating their names) and anti anxiety medications to help with his recent conflicts"
needless to say, i refused.

Have heard some corkers over the years from social services too...like

"hes not disabled enough to be on the disability teams"
"too intelligent to be on the disability teams"
"family problems are not severe enough to warrant our services" - I was in hospital at the time.

they do my heed in...
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#8 Tatty

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:24 PM

Lets just draw a line under that = yes we screwed up big time but we will NEVER admit it, so shut up about it :angry2:
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#9 Stelu

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:26 PM

" We don't exclude children here " = " But we will make an exception for you " Special school !
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#10 TiredandGrumpy

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:42 PM

camhs......What help do you want = we cant help with that so we will make up something, although your son doesnt need help with it".It just makes us look good.
school........He doesnt need a statement = we cant be bothered when hes so compliant that no-one notices him.



....TB, this is my biggest worry in the coming year. Already from GB's Portage consultant (employed by LA) we have had comments like:

He's so sweet and smiley....(apart from when he bites you)
He's no trouble....(he spends most of the hour sat under the trampoline while we talk - his normal default with visitors)
His speech is wonderful....(he said "bi-pod" aka ipod when he saw her coming - his way of saying "I'm not playing with you")

I guess all these comments = I won't be recommending support in reception
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#11 Snickas

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:55 PM

just remembered some more!

"oh you won't get a statement for him, they've stopped doing statements"
"I can't see anything wrong with him, its deffo not autism"
"he does make eye contact, he looks at me at the side of his eyes!"
"I can understand everything he says, perfectly"
"Oh i do know what I'm talking about, I went on a 2 day autism course" - all by J's old nursery teacher.
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#12 HISMum

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:57 PM

Heard a few today:

ds's new teacher "I have extensive training in ASD and will do all I can to make sure mainstream works for (name), though I haven't yet worked with him and he will be one of 59 other children." = I think I know it all because I've had a few other ASD kids in my class, and if I don't he'll be expected to fit in with everyone else anyway, and no we wont be supportive with the info we send to the LEA.

Other yr group class teacher - "So (name) are you looking forward to coming back to (school name) next week?"
DS-"NO"
teacher - "Well you'll love this topic, that topic, blah blah, drone drone, you want want to leave by Xmas."
Interpreted by ds as "What the hell did she not get about the word Noooooooooooooo!"
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#13 Janey

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 09:22 PM

From Camhs - Your son doesn't need a label, he doesn't have a problem it is the world that has the problem - The world is all going to change to accommodate you and everything will be fine
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#14 Kadenza

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 09:33 PM

"We don't operate any blanket policies" (LEA) = "...except the ones that we are applying to you and your child."
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#15 Léo's mum

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 09:38 PM

I know, I know" (with a pat on the hand) = rather you than me



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