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#1 Jaajoe


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Posted 15 October 2015 - 07:46 PM

Hi, I'm a mum of a 13yr old boy with Aspergers. He's always found school life challenging but we've somehow managed to get through infants and junior without too many incidents. But secondary school is a whole new ball game. Too much noise, too many people, teasing and lack of understanding are making him very miserable. The school are trying to help, but tend to just call me and complain that he's had a meltdown. I'm worried he'll end up in trouble even more as he gets older, bigger and more frustrated by those around him.
I know I'm lucky with my son, he has fairly mild problems in comparison to some, but I still have lots of fears and concerns about his future. I don't really have anyone to talk to about J as it's difficult to understand something you've not experienced. That's why I'm here, I am looking forward to being able to talk to people who get what I'm worrying about.
Thanks for having me.

#2 imperfect parent

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Posted 15 October 2015 - 08:35 PM

Hi and welcome.  I've 2 teenage boys with ASD, and secondary school was a nightmare.  Both have ended up in a special school with mixed results.  I have spoken to the parent of a young man with ASD who was at Oxford university for an interview on the day of the conversation; he had attended a sink school and had excellent support from a dedicated teacher.  Overall I think there is a lot of luck in getting the right support at the right time.  Getting the right support can be an uphill battle.

#3 maximus prime

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Posted 16 October 2015 - 10:02 AM

Hello and welcome I'm mum to Jack who is now 20. He did 5 years in an ASD unit attached to an outstanding secondary who really did repeatedly go the extra mile but it wasn't enough and Jack really suffered. He then did three years in an independent specialist school who put him back together and equipped him with skills for life and he's now at a mainstream college with support very much behind the scenes and he's thriving.


I'm also mum to Lucy who is 12 and attends a mainstream secondary school. It has been horrendous however I've gone to war with them and forced them to address things and currently Lucy has good support from a TA I chose,supporting her how I want and documenting it all to my satisfaction and it's working for now. Luckily Lucy has a tight knit group of friends who support her and make school bearable and I have made sure I have the reputation of a mother not to be messed with :P  so Lucy is treated kindly and sensitively by all staff.

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#4 Eggman


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Posted 17 October 2015 - 05:56 PM

Hello and welcome you will get lots of support here. I really love this place don't know what I would have done without it. It has moulded me into the person I am now. Sounds dramatic lol but I've had such amazing advice and learnt so much.


I am mum to a 12 year old with HF autism. He loved his Primary School and that's the only reason I kept him there as I had complete and utter hell trying to get his Statement delivered.


At the final year it became very clear that he would not cope at secondary school. Not just that, he is a bright boy and because of the support he needed (he as achieving level 5's in most of his subjects) he was dropped down into the middle achieving group as that's where his LSA was placed. He was DEVASTATED and that was the final straw for me.


I had to fight tooth and nail as many have done here but he is now in a specialist independent school.


I don't know if this is something you are thinking of? It's very difficult but can be done as long as you are committed and don't give in. I hate to hear of children so unhappy.

#5 miami girl

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Posted 18 October 2015 - 10:11 PM

Hi and welcome to the forum.


I am Mum to 6 4 nt and 2 sn youngest has autism, he is 9 and in a sn school, which is absolutely fabulous and they do go above and beyond to make it work for my son.


My other sn son goes there but he is due to leave at the end of yr 6 currently fighting to keep him at the current school that he is at.


Lean on us hun we get it

#6 Tangled


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Posted 19 October 2015 - 07:57 PM


My ASD son is almost 13 and goes to an ASC resource attached to a mainstream school. For him/us it seems to be a good middle ground. He accesses most mainstream lessons (on good days) but spends time in the resource when he needs to.

We 'get it' - for us the last 3 years of Primary were awful.

Look forward to seeing you around the forum xx

#7 Maverick


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Posted 21 October 2015 - 04:18 PM

Hi and Welcome,


My son is 13 with Aspergers and we are in mainstream with access to an ASC provision.


Sounds like the school are just reacting instead of being proactive.  Be worth spending some time working out the triggers for the meltdowns and looking for ways to distract/manage rather than just wait til he has one. A meltdown is the way our children tell us they cant cope/understand what is going on.. it is communication.   Does the school offer any social skills interaction, peer mentoring or emotions/feelings group (for his frustrations) ? 


My J (spooky) suffers very much with anxiety and panic and his social skills are...um... being worked on lol.  I cant look too far into the future - for peace of mind I just concentrate on now and maybe 6 months ahead.



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