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You know there is autism in the family when...

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#61 lilly the pink

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Posted 19 November 2007 - 01:57 AM

when you have a 4 year old transfixed by "60 minute makeover" or "how clean is your house"

When the dog knows when to run and hide.

when you can carry on a conversation whilst your child screams and throws things at you.

when you consider buying brown wallpper for a 4 year olds bedroom to disguise the marks.

when you ignore your child having a meltdown in Tesco under the conveyor belt because any intervention will make it last longer (get some dirty looks for that one)

when you almost cry because your child TRIES a new food.

when you think about doing some food shopping then realise, that after filling the car with everything your child MUST have, there wont be any room for the shopping. And the stress isn't worth the effort anyway. Thank god for internet shopping.
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#62 Jill


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Posted 15 January 2008 - 02:56 PM

You are pleased that you have only had to say "coat on" 5 times before he does it.

Asking for a kiss can either mean 1) gentle offering of forehead for a kiss or 2) severely swollen lips from over exhuberant forehead offering

You have to make sure that taps cannot be turned round out of the sink before they are turned on - preferably check this before you buy them.

You find yourself walking along the pavement with your head turned to the side but your eyes looking where you are going - just to see if it pleases you as much.

A small voice behind you saying "no, gentle touching" creates an immediate pavlovian leap to the side to avoid the slapping you know will follow.

You cannot visit public toilets - no matter how desperate you are - unless there's someone to look after your child who knows how to stop the panic caused by the merest glimpse of a hand dryer.

You go to the park & spend two hours standing & looking out through the fence at the traffic going past on a nearby road.

You need to line up two double whisky's for immediate consumption to calm your nerves after a hair cut

You learn an entirely new language - "put the bung in" means "I would like a bath now mother if you are available to assist me" and "up you cumps" means "would it be possible to have a ride on your shoulders now father, I find I am rather fatigued".

Your spare bedroom is given over entirely to Thomas Track which you absolutely positively must NEVER move not even one millimetre.

You are used to taking two paces & then stopping for 5 minutes no matter what you are doing or where you happen to be.

You have half a dozen smart come backs to "oooooh, what's his special skill"
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#63 Rosebud


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Posted 16 January 2008 - 11:07 PM

this thread is priceless :rolleyes:

#64 Twinkle


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Posted 16 January 2008 - 11:50 PM

You know you are qualified to be telepathic because when you ask "how are you, how was your day" you get that look and then the comment "well you should know" and how could you, you've been apart of best part of the day. :rolleyes:

You get a thump as they walk past and then they walk back and do it again......Something is stressing them but they cannot tell you what it is.

You dish up meals but they cannot eat it because the food is "touching" each other, so you invest in lots and lots of serving dishes and serving spoons.

You get so excited that you dance around the kitchen with your husband because he ate a bit of celery!!!!

You get even more excited because he tried prawns and liked them at your sister-in-laws! Filled my glass up again for that celebration!

Because he loves you and cuddles you soooooooooooooooooo tight, just to prove it to you. You can't walk straight for two days but by golly, it was worth it! :excellent

#65 Mozzy


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 12:14 AM

When each slice of bread gets sealed in its own zip plastic bag.

Everything is labled and even the inside of the fridge has a 'food map' in it

Having a bath involves 4 squirts of bubble bath, not 2 or 3 but 4

When you dish up a meal of american rice, indian nan bread and chinese spring rolls

If there is an odd number of smarties in the tube they cannot be eaten

You have the social worker on speed dial under number one, not your mother or family

The post man is use to naked door answering and takes it in his stride.

The dog responds to PECS and sign language more than voice

You have to wash and dry clothes over night as they are the only acceptable ones to wear that week.

#66 Elise


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 12:38 AM

The last time you went out as a couple was 2 years ago :blink:

You can only take 1 certain bus because if you take a different one and it goes a different route, all hell breaks lose.

You die of embaressment when your partner brings home a large work mate for the first time and your son points at him when he comes through the door and shouts " look mummy a big fat pig" :blush: but at the same time cant tell him off because hes just put a whole sentence together :applaud

Guests never stay long.

You cant return childrens clothes if there the wrong size because all labels have to be cut completely off before there tried on.

#67 BeautifulSpectrum


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 08:46 AM

...Your daughter is more excited (including arm flapping) over the opening titles to Emmerdale (not the programme itself) rather than reciveing a new toy!!

...You think your daughter is looking at you, but shes not shes looking at the fine detail of your eye lashs

...you have a portable T.V (dedicated to Peppa Pig) in your front room aswell as your main T.V

... You wish you had shares in the Velcro company

...You start talking to yourself more

#68 redhed


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 09:25 AM

when you can't book domiciliary care this month because the recipient has eaten the booking form....

Slightly different slant, but this might ring some bells as well:

Mumsnet: You know your child has Special Needs when....

#69 thea


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 02:17 PM

..... when your son has broken his third bed in three years, and all the damage was done when he was sleeping.

...... but it doesn't matter, his bed rocks anyway because there are a year's worth of empty frozen chip packets underneath the bed, and you are too scared to move even one in case he notices.

....... when you buy 3 packets of gravy mix a week, and you never get to make the gravy before he eats it

...... when the master fuse blows and you automatically turn to him and asked him what he has been doing recently

...... when you shop for his clothes at 10pm in an all-night tesco's, but he still refuses to try the clothes on before you buy them

...... when your neighbours come round to tell you that your son is out playing in the snow, wearing just thin shorts and a t-shirt and you don't understand what the problem is - he's dressed, what more do they want!

...... when you cry uncontrollably because his quilt cover is ripped and the shop doesn't stock that design anymore

...... when you have to put the rubbish in the bin after dark, in case he sees what you are throwing out and jumps into the bin to retrieve it

...... when he eats his soup with his fingers, then wipes his hands on the back of his shirt, so you won't notice

...... when you know he smells, but it isn't a shower night, so you don't say anything
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#70 SeaThreePeeO


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 02:33 PM

Ooo I love this thread :D

Here's mine

When there are clumps of hair on the carpet that don't belong to the dog or cat

When you notice there's a pile of neatly arranged eyelashes on the bedside table

When you still have to wipe your 9 year olds bottom because she can't be trusted to remember to do it :rolleyes:
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#71 Jasmine


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 03:15 PM

...Your daughter is more excited (including arm flapping) over the opening titles to Emmerdale (not the programme itself) rather than reciveing a new toy!!

Oh another 1 ! My son absolutely LOVES the opening titles of Emmerdale - I think it must be all that "flying " camera work. :D
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#72 splittatom


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 05:47 PM

loving this thread...

every piece of wood furniture is slowly disappearing due to chewing and its not the dogs
when visitors come not only after locking them in the standard greeting is having your child bum waved at them shouting 'bumy bumy bumy'
when the paeditrician asks your child to walk back to them when looking at them walk and yes they walk backwards lol
when thinking about what meats we eat they think its far enough to try to eat their teacher as they are vegetarians as mummy told them we do not eat animals that eat meat as they don't taste nice in reference to eating the dogs
if you do ever get invited anywhere it takes two weeks of planning for 30 mins before you outstay your welcome
your standard wake up call is a wet nappy thrown in your face
you can't understand why your visitor is staring at your schedules on the kitchen wall - yes the one for step by step pooing on the toilet next to the reward chart
if you are brave enough to go shopping you almost get assulted at the checkout as your son has just slapped the mans behind in front then wondered behind you - you are obilvious until the wife asks you what the hell you are doing as her hubbie has just told her....
your house and car windows are more dirty from the inside due to licking
sudocreme... NEVER leave it where the darlings can get it - here is a picture of the type of thing but this is paint.....

Thank you for the laughs frm this thread
Tee x
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#73 splittatom


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Posted 17 January 2008 - 06:01 PM


#74 Ru's Parents

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Posted 18 January 2008 - 11:24 AM

Just laughed and sighed my way through this thread. I realise that my son is not quite in the same league as many others. However, my favourite moments are the roughly appropriate delivery of lines from films in odd situations e.g. on entering the house from some energetic naked trampolining with an umbrella in hand "I shall stay a week..." (Mary Poppins) :applaud

#75 Mrs K

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Posted 18 January 2008 - 12:02 PM

When your shaken awake at 2.30 am to be asked "what will happen if Asda runs out of milk"

Your then shaken awake at 3.30 am to be asked"can people be too thin to ride a bike"

Your then shaken awake at 4.30 am cos its time to get up

when all the presents you spent so long finding ,chooosing ,lugging home for xmas (including bike and rollerskates cos this year he wants to be able to ride a bike ) are left untouched and he happily plays with his hanger(his stimmin stick) :)

When you cant pack the trampoline away for the winter

When the loss of said stimmin stick causes more catastophic consequences than a dirct hit from a meteor :blink:

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