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By Popular Demand - The Official Bullshit Thread

Local Authority excuses

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#61 Lionheart


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Posted 29 February 2012 - 12:47 PM


"xxxxxx behaves badly at home" - Well she doesn't behave like the other kids ,but we ignore it, so manage it well, as for home, parents must be useless.

Apparently mum says she has a dx of ASD - we don't believe mum, and cant be bothered to look at the paperwork provided.

Oh she got upset in lessons, but we avoided a meltdown so that was ok, -We told her she was a drama queen, (info from child later) and to get on with it, and that worked so there is not a problem.

I am waiting for the one that translates to - we wont tell you anything any more because you take it twist it, and use it against us. :sofa:
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#62 maximus prime

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:30 PM

Today's classic bullshit from LA

We placed Jack in this school because we knew it was the right place for Jack (I nearly laughed out loud and the principal caught my eye and grinned) what he meant was we knew our number was up and couldn't evade the inevitable any longer so we gave in.

The LA have no hidden agenda.......... we'd love to but her damn solicitor picks to pieces everything we say or write.

We won't discuss the statement..........because her damn solicitor has warned that she can be contacted during the AR if needed

But will point out that it mentions the need for Jack's social and emotional needs to be met, as well as comprehensive life skills programme, work experience and an age appropriate PHSE curriculum..........I won't mention that that one sentence pretty much is the whole of part two on the statement though.
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#63 red.daff


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Posted 18 April 2012 - 05:33 PM

Paed: Perhaps her wearing glasses is causing her poor eye contact. = I'm going to dig for excuses until I can worm out of giving your child a dx
She seems very active...she did have that fruit shoot. (given to her during an ADOS test)= perhaps we can blame the sugar for her behaviour.
Perhaps we need to make sure she knows her boundaries, maybe use stop think do. = Maybe she is just naughty/ you are a bad parent.

EP: Your questionnaire and the schools report say different things = you are clearly lying/ exaggerating, (funny that us and SENCO were singing from same book 3 months earlier at a meeting with him).
I can't believe Paed hasn't contact you with the date for S's ADOS test. I will call them and get the letter resent. = Ops we forgot to tell you we arranged it weeks ago.

Teacher: S pinched another child but she didn't seem to remember she had done it right after. = maybe you are right and she doesn't understand when she is hurting people.
I have realised just how much my teaching style has changed writing S's IEP. = I have been fumbling in the dark with little help.
What's S's Paed's name?...I have never heard of her. = she doesn't have any contact with the school so how can she know much about S?
(think Teacher is on side but a little scared of getting into trouble saying the wrong thing).

LOVE this thread

#64 Lovepeace


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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:46 AM

Whist she is here she will have our full attention at all times = We have a room which locks from the outside
We follow the national curriculum = We have lots of paper and colouring pens
We understand your concerns = We think you have Munchausen`s
we have a policy of accountability = It`s your word against ours
The school has worked hard to improve standards = My children are in a nice school so really I couldn`t give a rat`s arse
We have staff who are totally dedicated = They`re on long-term sick and we don`t expect to see them again

Ignore my previous post :). Am reading this at 2:30 am (!)as my daughter wanted me to make a pizza @ 12:30 am.

Am laughing so much I can't go back to sleep. We should compile all these and publish them! I would gift copies to some of the professionals I've had the misfortune to come across!

#65 Ymum


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Posted 07 May 2012 - 08:24 PM

I love this as I believed SaLT when they told me DS made good eye contact even though I know he doesn't. I thought I must be missing something because they are the professionals I will now go back to them with renewed enthusiasm for getting my point across.

#66 gorilla



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Posted 12 May 2012 - 01:30 PM

We will refer him ASAP = He wil get referred but not for years yet
We have followed up the referral but can't say anything yet = You haven't bothered your a**e to pick up the phone
It costs too much to get an assessment = You don't want to be proved wrong
SaLT are involved but don't see him often = No SaLT were involved but more involvement is needed, we can't be a**ed to contact them.
It is your family's fault for his behaviour = We aren't responsible for anything but there is a problem and we won't admit we may have a part to play in that problem.

Some of the bullshit I have been fed by my sons old school, god if I was to write everything you could publish a book on some of their bullshit, I am sure both the DHT and HT had a degree in Bullshit and not a degree in teaching.

#67 Suzee-r


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Posted 23 June 2012 - 11:48 PM

Cams: she's afraid of monsters, monsters come in different forms......... It's the parents.
11 year old believes teddies are real hmmmm........ It shows a caring side to her nature?
She is very articulate and makes eye contact...... She doesn't have Asd and I won't be assessing her.

Social service: she's very quietly spoken and shy.......... You sure you're not terrorising her.
There's no indication of Asd....... I'm a support worker with no specialist knowledge but so what.
She's very driven and focused...... That's a good thing,what you worried about.
She's very young and naive in her outlook..... Be grateful I deal with kids who are running amok at 11.

School: No I haven't noticed any issues....... I haven't noticed her, she's so quiet.
I have experience of Asd and now you mention it she is different and has improved with visual timetables , perhaps see your GP.
Woops best cover my back.

#68 tillydog


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Posted 26 June 2012 - 04:11 AM

Family GP to my Mum - "There's nothing wrong with her, you're just being a neurotic mother".

Hmmmm I think my mum took this as such, and for years and years took it upon herself to compare me all the time to my NT peers and then point out to me my failings!!
It wasnt until my diagnosis last year, that she's actually accepted that I am who I am and that, Yes! her first born is special needs!! She even apologied to me for the way she treated me.

Just remembered another ....

Same GP but to me this time (I must've been in my early/mid teens) - "So tillydog, do you have a boyfriend?" (and this is relevant how?!!)

Gave him a curt reply, something along the lines of - "No, but it's neither relevant or any of your business".

Funnily enough, that was the last time he was my Dr!! :hammer

#69 natstrug


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Posted 06 July 2012 - 01:21 PM

On my asking that somebody be responsible for monitoring Ollie on sparts day and taking him inside if he showed signs of distress (massive meltdown last year, had to be carried inside and have cold flannels put on him as his fab. TA worried he was going to have a fit):-
Teacher: We've made arrangements for him to sit with the first aider if he doesn't want to join in
Me: That's great, but he'll still be in the midst of all the noise.
Teacher: It's important that he see his friends having fun taking part in sports day and that he has every opportunity to work on his social skills
Me: He's not going to be able to work on his social skills if he's very distressed and unable to function
Teacher: We don't have the staff available to look after him inside.

Translation: I really don't understand sensory processing problems, I really don't understand your son, we don't have the resources to meet your son's needs on SA+ yet we have just taken the decision not to request assessment for a statement.

#70 handle with care...

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Posted 20 July 2012 - 01:28 PM

"We don't believe a TSS is nessecary for A to begin mainstream as we already have a resident autism specialist that covers that school."
- we have a teacher who minds 2 different elementary schools and will be availiable for 2 hours a day so if he would like to have a meltdown, he will have to learn to have it then!

"We will add additional supports if we see it is needed"
- we will wait until he is completely uncontrollable and then try to assist him, and when he's to far gone to help, we can blame it on you and suggest another school for him! Coinsides with- we are to cheap to provide a TSS so we will say whatever we can to avoid paying for one! I know, lets blame the economy for us not having funding (after all, we're are the only school having those issues!)

#71 handle with care...

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Posted 08 August 2012 - 11:42 AM

Therapist to me:

"Apparently everone knows how to handle A fine, except you (the parent)"

= we spoil him, give him anything he wants, when he wants it and fill him up on all the candy and treats that you have told us repeatedly he may not have and if you did the same thing we would tell you that you are a horrible parent for spoiling and not setting boundaries and setting up future behavioral problems, but since you have not done it, I will use it to show how you are the only one that cannot handle A, thus making us look superior

= your still a bad parent because you can't handle your child

#72 sonia07



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Posted 11 August 2012 - 03:07 PM

You only want a diagnosis so you can benefit from it financially - sorry i dont give a toss about your son and you only want the money.

He makes eye contact, responded well to every one and making lots of progress - sorry but i dont give a F"k and stop calling my office for a appointment he doesnt need to be seen again!

We'll stagger his introduction - We will delay him starting to school even though this will trigger him off has we dont want his behaviour been seen by other parents

He fits in the school perfectly - hurry up and get him out of the school before i have to permanently exclude him

Sorry he doesn't fit the criteria for additional help - we dont give a f"k!

Her such a lovely boy - he a little s"t and he wont stop biting people

Did he have any breakfast today? - are you sure you fed him cause he keeps eating his clothes?
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#73 handle with care...

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Posted 31 October 2012 - 04:24 PM

School to me...

"We don't see any behaviors that any normal child doesn't do..."

= Every child gets into fist fights at some point so we'll call it normal behavior and overlook the fact that it's happening 3+ times a day for him, so that we do not have any extra work.

= parents are extremeist and overreact to everything...

#74 lennie len

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Posted 15 March 2013 - 07:02 PM

AWESOME!!!!!! how come I have only just foud this thread?


So many I have heard.


LA legal rep to child's solicitor "Your client has denied permission for our staff to contact relevent health and educational professionals which has delayed progression of the re assessment" -  we've missed the dealine, we need to make out it's not our fault, and use parent as the scapegoat.



LA legal rep to child's solicitor "The social worker has tried to contact your client and has left a message on her mobile which he has.

I will let you know if she doesn’t respond within the next couple of days" - She will not respond to a message that HASN'T been left on her mobile, therefore re-assessment will be delayed.

#75 Fozzy


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Posted 18 August 2013 - 04:12 PM

"We've got many worse than your child" = We're failing lots of kids, why should your child be any different?


"There's no point going for a statement, it won't get your child any extra support" =  If you force us into issuing a statement, we'll make damn sure we write it so that he gets no extra support irrespective of the weight of advice to the contrary.


"If your child is out of school, the maximum tuition he will receive is 5 hours a week" = Yes, we know that that's actually the minimum and we should be doing more but we really hope you don't know that.


"If you don't force your child back into the school which has caused him to have a breakdown, we'll have to prosecute you" = Yes, we know it's actually our duty to find a school that can meet his needs as this one blatantly can't, but again we're hoping you don't know that, besides, it's fun to bully you.


"Your child isn't entitled to school transport, the school is less than 3 miles away" = We know your child couldn't conceivably cope in public transport, we know he needs to be taken to school with an escort, but we're hoping you don't realise that that means we do have a duty to provide school transport.


"We need to know what your income is and whether you should be paying to provide school transport" = we know that we have to provide transport irrespective of your income but we're still hoping to bullshit our way out of it.


"It's our policy never to specify provision in part 3, don't you want the school to have enough flexibility to meet your child's needs?" = We don't want to specify because we want to get away with the minimum possible.


"You won't get a place in a special/independent/out of borough school, it's not our policy" = So far as we are concerned, our policy comes well ahead of our legal duties in terms of our priorities.


"There's no point in appealing, it won't get your child the school place you want" = At least we damn well hope it won't.


And possibly my favourite -


"I don't understand why you're getting a speech and language report for your tribunal appeal, there isn't any speech and language provision in the statement."

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