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#1 Marshmallow

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Posted 01 June 2016 - 09:06 PM

Hi I am a Mum to 2 sons, the youngest, 13 is in the middle of being diagnosed with Aspergers and this year has had not only to contend with a possible diagnosis but also with the loss of a Grandparent and a family pet. He has now gone through a couple of months of really high anxiety resulting in seizures and a difficulty staying in school. Waiting for tests now and desperate for any advice as to help him cope during this unsettling time. Knowing about the Aspergers has helped us understand him more, but the huge changes in his behaviour have been a real shock. It would be good to hear from anyone who may have experienced the same.

Edited by Marshmallow, 01 June 2016 - 09:07 PM.


#2 imperfect parent

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Posted 02 June 2016 - 06:49 AM

Times of high anxiety are really hard.  My 3 are aged between 17 and 20, with the 2 youngest diagnosed a 12 and 13 respectively. However similar that sounds the reality is that it took 8 years to get the diagnosis for one, and 2 years for the other.

 

I found this book helpful, https://www.amazon.c...y/dp/1849058431as much because it describes how it feels for the author without generalising.  Reading it gave ideas for strategies, but still left me feeling that solutions are very individual.

 

With mine I find that honesty is the best policy.  I try to  do things in a way that doesn't raise their anxiety, but they also have to respect that sometimes i will get hings wrong and for that I will apologise when I do.  Equally thy know that there are times when things just cannot be adapted, and in those cases they need to try their best and they will be given as much space and time to recover; eg meeins with professionals have to happen, but we spread them out as much as possible, meet in the most suitable place, but sometimes we just have to accept that it isn't possible.

 

My middle son struggles the most, and any amount f pressure causes him to become non verbal.  Even asking us for something reasonable can cause him to become non verbal.  The last request for a game which he was paying for but needed permission to order on line (house rules) resulted in him catching hold of DH and myself by the arm and holding us for 10 minutes before he was able to say he wanted to ask for something.  We encourage him to write notes or email, but often all this produces is the info that he wants "something"

 

I have no experience of seizures, but others on here do.  Keep posting if you need more specific advice, people here have a wealth of experience which is really useful.



#3 Marshmallow

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Posted 02 June 2016 - 08:04 AM

Thank you. I will get the book and have a read. We are taking one day at a time and are certainly trying a less confrontational approach with him, which seems to help. He is starting to be able to explain some of his feelings which is also helping us to support him more and see things from his perspective.

#4 imperfect parent

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Posted 03 June 2016 - 06:38 AM

A good source of books is https://w3.cerebra.o...mation/library/though last time I looked it didn't have the book I recommended above.  Still useful if you're on a limited budget.

It's positive that he will talk to you about what he's feeling.



#5 Marshmallow

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Posted 05 June 2016 - 08:39 PM

Thank you.
Thank you.

#6 Eggman

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Posted 09 June 2016 - 07:37 AM

Hi there and welcome to the Forum.

 

My 12 year old isn't too bad but he does suffer from high anxiety. Although he is in a very good independent school his anxiety is still high and I realise he has to hold a lot together whilst he is there. It's also a long day 8.30am to 4.20pm.

 

Like many children with ASD he has difficulty regulating his emotions and things can quickly escalate into screaming matches (on his part I should add!) so I try to keep things as calm as possible at home and pick my battles very carefully.



#7 Maverick

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Posted 11 June 2016 - 12:09 PM

Hi Marshmallow (great name) :D

 

My boy is 13 with Aspergers and we have a lot of anxiety issues.  Have a google of the Low Arousal Approach, The 5 point scale and the Anxiety Curve.  All really interesting and we use elements of all to teach J to recognise his levels of anxiety and to tell us what they are and we have plans in place at each level to reduce.  Takes awhile but seems to work over time.

 

Hugs to you all as it sounds you have had a lot to deal with recently.

 

xx





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