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Perception Of Reality


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#1 Vodkalass

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Posted 22 September 2016 - 04:28 PM

T has come home very upset again saying he isn't going back to school ever again. He goes to a schhol for those with ASD.He is year 11 and for the 3rd time in 2 weeks there have been inccidents at school but his version of events is totally different to what school says.

 

Like today according to T a student made fun of his stutter so he thumped him, student reacted and T threw his work book at him, shouting & screaming at everyone. Teacher made him go to quiet room.

 

According to school there was a TA sat next to T and he just thumped the student and threw a pencil and a book at him. They are saying that the student didn't say a word to him until he hit him.

 

Trying to discuss it with him he is so angry & swears blind that it happened his way & then refuses to talk about it. I really don't know how to tackle this because if this is all in is head what is going on. Has anybody ese had any experience of this.

 

 



#2 queen claudia

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Posted 23 September 2016 - 10:51 AM

It's difficult to know who to believe. I know if it was my son he may lie about the incident initially for fear of getting into trouble with us but if I pressed him and told him it was essential he told us the truth he would.

 

Do you know if your son may be covering it up, do you believe him or do you think it's a case of him misunderstanding the incident?

 

Often my son can get the wrong impression thinking someone is teasing him when they are not which I guess is quite common with our children but we are fortunate that he doesn't have outbursts he would just be very upset and we would talk about it. I can usually work out from what he says and the way he says it what has gone on.

 

In your case it could also be the school covering themselves which happened a lot in our son's previous mainstream school. Heaven forbid they should ever tell us the truth or admit to any wrong doing anywhere!



#3 apricot

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Posted 23 September 2016 - 02:05 PM

Could he be reacting to being a year 11?

DS is finding going back to school and being faced with GCSE pressure and decisions about what to do next / where to go next year / year 11 transition review is all a bit too much to cope with. 

Maybe he is feeling horribly stressed and so overreacting to something quite trivial. 



#4 tracky2

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Posted 23 September 2016 - 09:58 PM

My DS is only in primary school, so different stresses but with L I find that one of two things happen if I hear that something has happened and it's at school or other when I'm not there he either swears blind he didn't do it especially if he knows its wrong or he'll start to get really upset and then eventually the truth comes out.

If he's in the latter scenario I may never find out and have to rely on what others tell me. I just try and guide him in what the right thing to do is when he is calmer as he generally knows it was wrong and that's why he's upset.

If it's a problem socially it might be that something happened away from eyes and he processed it slower and then reacted.

my DS struggles understanding the rules of friendship and uses the term bullying a lot when sometimes it is learning the rules off play and typical roughness off boys. Doesn't help me though because I won't to protect him from that but I know he has to try and learn social inclusion. Sometimes kids can be mean and it might be worth while enquiring if any of the staff have noticed any particular problems. X

#5 mad cat lady

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Posted 26 September 2016 - 06:09 PM

We had similar problems with J until we realised that he has great difficulty with time, I remember one incident where he attacked another student and told us the other boy had done xyz but it eventually emerged that the incident that J was reacting too had taken place days before but in his mind they were linked and he was just reacting.
I don't know if it is common with AS but J can hold a grudge and 'punish' the other person long after the other person has forgotten the incident. Of course most children bully on the sly so teachers don't see whereas our children tend to be very upfront when they do something.

#6 Vodkalass

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Posted 27 September 2016 - 01:05 PM

Mad cat lady that is what happens with T....school are saying there may have been an incident a few days before then he blows up insisted it happened then. After the meeting they were going to have a TA sat next to him in all lessons (which has happened according to T)

 

Last year T had put a "coming out" video up on you tube which students from his school had seen. Spoke about being a furry & that he was interested in older men (he was 14).

 

The other students could be talking about Pokemon  & T thinks they are talking about him & he just jumps straight in being abusive & threatening. It's like he is becoming paranoid about everyone around him. Had a meeting again today because now it is becoming a daily occurence and they are saying that even with a TA sitting next to him he will insist that something has happened & he says he's going to "stab them in the eye" and that everybody hates him & he's going to kill himself if it all carries on.

 

At home if I question him he gets very angry & swears blind it happened the way he said, starts screaming at me & grabbing his hair out of frustration saying they are all against him & they are stupid etc & I am the worst mother ever for believing them.

 

There is this side to him & the other side is the fact that he still likes Thomas the tank engine has every book, dvd, track etc & after a bad day he goes back to play/watch Thomas. There is no happy middle ground.



#7 lennie len

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 11:16 AM

There may have been a whole host of triggers over a period of time leading up to this incident which e has kept to himself because either of his communication difficulties, or he doesn't realise how he is impacted, and just that day, he had enough.

And, for you, it will take some time to get the whole story, once you piece it all together you are likely to find out what happened  but this takes time due to the difficulties he will have with recalling events ad communication.

 

There is also the slight possibility that his recollection of events are confabulated.

This is not a conscious act, and I have witnessed it with another family member with ASD due to his memory difficulties in recalling events, which his brain picks up on other past events or even things that happened to others, and refills the gap in information.

 

>confabulation (verb: confabulate) is a disturbance of memory, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive. Individuals who confabulate present incorrect memories ranging from "subtle alterations to bizarre fabrications", and are generally very confident about their recollections, despite contradictory evidence.



#8 Vodkalass

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Posted 12 February 2017 - 08:29 PM

There may have been a whole host of triggers over a period of time leading up to this incident which e has kept to himself because either of his communication difficulties, or he doesn't realise how he is impacted, and just that day, he had enough.

And, for you, it will take some time to get the whole story, once you piece it all together you are likely to find out what happened  but this takes time due to the difficulties he will have with recalling events ad communication.

 

There is also the slight possibility that his recollection of events are confabulated.

This is not a conscious act, and I have witnessed it with another family member with ASD due to his memory difficulties in recalling events, which his brain picks up on other past events or even things that happened to others, and refills the gap in information.

 

>confabulation (verb: confabulate) is a disturbance of memory, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive. Individuals who confabulate present incorrect memories ranging from "subtle alterations to bizarre fabrications", and are generally very confident about their recollections, despite contradictory evidence.

That does sound like a real possability. The definition makes a lot of sense, I will do some more research & mention it to his Psycotherapist.






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