Jump to content


Photo

School Trip - 2 Nights Away - Daughter Wants To Go

school trip residential

  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 TrishWish

TrishWish

    Just arrived (be nice to me!)

  • ASDf Members
  • Pip
  • 6 posts

Posted 15 June 2016 - 09:19 PM

My daughter, (M), who is 9 next month and has a diagnosis of ASD, SPD and co-morbid anxiety brought a letter home about a school trip in September when she will just have started year 5 primary school. It's an outward bound course type thing - Robinwood.

 

Based on previous experience I assumed she wouldn't want to go and put it in the recycling. She's never wanted to even go on a sleepover before she's been too worried in case something bad happened and she didn't know what to do.

 

This evening she asked me if I'd got the Robinwood letter and if she could go.

 

She's become more confident this year as she has made a good friend. This friend is going to Robinwood and M really wants to go too. I don't feel that she is mature enough to manage. I think it's likely that she'll get over stimulated and have a meltdown at some point. She also has issues around food and is likely to get upset about the food that is available. I'm also worried abt the risk of paedophiles on the staff who would recognise her as vulnerable. She finds it very difficult (impossible) to ask for help if she has a problem.

 

In the leaflet they sent out they mentioned special needs children and said that while they try to be inclusive blah blah they would need to discuss issues before booking as they don't have special training. There's no mention of teachers going on this trip either, obviously I would check to find out if there are, if the school SENCO was going I might feel better as she has been really good and knows M well.

 

Her dad and I told her we weren't sure about it. When I mentioned the special needs section in the leaflet she got very upset. I've said I'll have another look at the leaflet and a chat to the school and we'll talk about it tomorrow. She said her teacher asked if she was going, they've watched a video about it in school today. Holidays are generally really stressful for us, tend to be when her behaviour is at it's worst, she gets issues around sensitivities that tend to become more pronounced when she's out of routine.

 

So, I was going to ask people's opinions, has your child been on a residential, how did it go etc but I think writing this has persuaded me that I don't think she's ready. Now to figure out the best way to get her to see that too I suppose, feels like I'm undermining her though :(



#2 maximus prime

maximus prime

    How many posts? Get a life!

  • ASDf Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,059 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 15 June 2016 - 11:14 PM

Dd went on three residentials in Primary and loved every minute.She was year four on the first one which was two nights and four nights in years five and six  But I trusted the school and the staff to take care of her and the school applied for funding so that they were able to take extra support for her.I wouldn't have let her go if the teachers/headteacher weren't leading the trip as I need to know who she is with.

 

She has also been to a residential in London in Secondary to see West End shows andthe school funded her TA to accompany her.

 

I think it can work very successfully if it's a place that has experience of SEN (the centres used are fully inclusive here)and the school want it to work and secure enough support to make it happen.



#3 caci

caci

    How many posts? Get a life!

  • ASDf Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,811 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 16 June 2016 - 06:55 AM

Our son's primary school weren't willing to try and make trips work.

 

For a day trip in year 4, they asked me to go with him, so I took unpaid leave from work. On the morning of the trip, they decided there were not enough seats on the coach, so asked us to make our way into Central London on public transport and meet the group there ! (bus, train then another bus)

 

For the year 5 and 6 residentials, they announced his LSA would be on the trips as a member of staff, but she would not be available for 1:1 support. If he didn't go on the trips he was expected to attend school as usual and go into a different class, with no support .(the LSA was going on the residentials whether he went or not)

 

I couldn't get the school to change their minds  ("Mrs x ALWAYS goes on the residentials, and has NEVER supported 1:1 on them as she is needed by the whole group")

 

In the end, we booked a family holiday for the same dates as the school residential each year, and the school authorised the holidays (although this was several years ago)

 

It is a shame, as I would really loved it to have worked, but unless the school work with you to set up suitable support, it is very, very hard.



#4 apricot

apricot

    Old as the hills

  • ASDf Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 467 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Cambridge
  • Interests:Walking our labrador, Ben.

Posted 16 June 2016 - 08:19 AM

DS went on several residentials and enjoyed them. School did ask his Dad to go to the outward bound one involving water activities, they didn't want the responsibility if DS had a meltdown on the water. It all depends on the school's attitude, will they support her? If it goes wrong then how easy is it for you to collect her? DS was much more willing to do residentials at primary, no way would he consider doing it now, so 'waiting until she is ready' could turn into never. If it works, it could give her a real boost. 



#5 Eggman

Eggman

    How many posts? Get a life!

  • ASDf Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,402 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 16 June 2016 - 08:45 AM

My son went on residentials too and they were quite successful but only because we had a fantastic Learning Support Partner who knows our son very well and looked after him very well.

 

Make some notes about what you want to discuss and meet with the school to ask how they are going to support her. Also if it's an activity type of weekend try and think of something that she is particularly good at and ask if she can lead a group in that activity.

 

I knew that my son would find some of the activities very difficult but he was very good at rock climbing so we agreed with the school that he could lead the group in this to boost his confidence and then he would not be too upset if he did badly in other activities. This worked out very well.

 

My son is also in Scouts and the camping trip he went on in Cubs were a complete disaster because of their total lack of experience with SEN. I ended up having to volunteer at all camps but even then it was difficult as they expected me to volunteer and help them out too which took me away from my son and Sod's Law it was always when he needed me most!

 

Good luck hope it goes well if you decide to go ahead with it.



#6 TrishWish

TrishWish

    Just arrived (be nice to me!)

  • ASDf Members
  • Pip
  • 6 posts

Posted 16 June 2016 - 11:15 AM

Thanks for your answers, I've arranged to have a meeting with her teachers. Still very doubtful, it's not so much the activities as the getting ready, getting washed and dressed and doing her hair, also getting to sleep. We'd need intensive practice before she goes I think, plus there's the fact that she'll just be settling in to her new year and we don't even know who her teachers will be yet.



#7 imperfect parent

imperfect parent

    How many posts? Get a life!

  • ASDf Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,950 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Interests:horse riding, reading, baking and SEN issues

Posted 16 June 2016 - 02:11 PM

Reasonable adjustment is the key, with support form some one the child trusts, preferably not a parent.

 

Our son was allocated his room beforehand, taken on a visit when the venue was quiet and given a pass to go early for food.  Being part of a group can help tremendously and the dynamics are different to a family holiday.  i would say that with the hard work of staff, the provision of a trusted adult by us, and the adjustments of the venue our son coped better with the residential than with many family holidays.

 

I would say if you are unsure; allow her to try and have a contingency plan if it doesn't work, and a treat to  take her mind off it.  If you are unhappy with what is offered then that's a different matter; trust your instincts, hold out for reasonable adjustment, and if you don't get it don't send her.

 

I think it's great that she wants to go.



#8 TrishWish

TrishWish

    Just arrived (be nice to me!)

  • ASDf Members
  • Pip
  • 6 posts

Posted 12 September 2016 - 11:58 AM

Aaaargh she's away! She's practised really hard over the Summer, doing her own hair, getting showers without assistance, tying shoelaces etc. Thought she was all set, had a meltdown over footwear before she got out of the house, then sobbed her heart out waiting in line for the coach. Wanted to take her off again. Biting nails and worrying now for two days until she returns.



#9 caci

caci

    How many posts? Get a life!

  • ASDf Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,811 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 12 September 2016 - 05:22 PM

Fingers crossed it all goes according to plan and she has a great time.

 

Will one of the staff ring you later to let you know how things are going ?



#10 Kadenza

Kadenza

    Under the table

  • The Moderators
  • 4,465 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Oh, I don't know. Somewhere around and about.

Posted 12 September 2016 - 10:09 PM

It's brilliant that you felt able to let her try.  I hope it goes well, and she has a good time. x







Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: school trip, residential

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users