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Having a child with special needs does help to put things in perspective.

Exam results and swimming certificates - pah! We special parents know what things are really important in life, so this thread is for us to share our special children's special achievements with others who will celebrate with us.

Here goes -

DS's hair was in urgent need of a spring clean before he goes back to school tomorrow. As he climbed into the bath I told him I would be washing his hair tonight. I braced myself for a wetting.

"OK, Mum"

Gulp. "Would you like strawberry or banana shampoo?" (Usual response "NOTHING!")

Eyes bottles on windowsill. "Ip dip sky blue it will be you. Banana please, Mum"

Mum procedes to wash hair. Child makes not one murmur of protest.

"I love having my hair washed, Mum. I didn't like it yesterday (everything in the past happened yesterday) but I love it today".

My little angel

Following this conversation, this thread has been created to put all the bullshit you've ever been told by authorities and service providers.

To start us off:

We are trying our best = We don`t give a toss
I know all about Autism = I read a leaflet once
Early intervention is vital = Come back in 6 or 7 years
We take your complaint very seriously = Hahahahahahahahaha
We have put you on our priority list = ***k off

You missed 'Lessons have been learnt' = oops screwed up there, never mind its no longer on our doorstep, least its gone away now

So post what the officials have said to you along with your translation of what they actually meant.

One I heard today:

We are tightening up our procedures = I don't care if he is entitled - he's not getting it.

there is a carpet shampoo machine permanently on standby, ready for action at a moment's notice

all of the jars and bottles are kept out of reach

the faint smell of wee never goes away

I was sitting in the rain the other night, watching a group of disreputable drunks misbehave, and one of them suggested that a thread recognising what the NT siblings have to put up with would be a good idea.

It's a good suggestion - especially since Little Madam and Tiny Flirt have spent the day being beaten up because Little Nutter was unhappy in the car, then having to watch Lazy Town with the sound off because Little Nutter turned it down and screamed blue murder when they turned it back up again.

Now he has emptied the toybox onto the floor and is sprinkling breadcrumbs all over the place and shouting "It's snowing!"

In all, I think that our NT kids have had a miserable day today - but they aren't complaining. They just get on with their life, making the most of the good stuff and shrugging their shoulders when bad stuff happens. And it happens a lot.

They are a lesson to spoiled brats everywhere.

Hello wonderifical spectacular amazing everyone!! =)

 

I am writing about autism and me, well about how autism spectrum disorder affects me.

 

I was mostly writing it to help my care workers and support workers and my friends better understand me, (Its something I never thought of doing before)

 

Since I published the first part to my website though, a lot of parents and doctors have been commenting and emailing me, saying it is helpful to them.

 

And so I thought I would share on here also, in case its helpful to anyone here too

 

http://www.mattyange...-and-me-part-1/

well done to your lil guy!!

A new carpet cleaner is part of your annual budget

You automatically check the guinea pigs cage to check to see what has been posted!

If you don't get to the post first it gets posted back through the letterbox

House keys have to be kept in your pocket at all times - no hook is high enough!

Neighbours are used to "lights go on........ lights go off" from the house

All the parents and children from a 400 child mainstream school know their fellow pupil (your child) by name!

Family outings mean trainers not heels! Never know when you will need to run fast!

Fire doors that say "push to open" are seen as an instruction

Stain removers are top of your tesco favourites list and all clothes have to be washed at least twice

Teeth marks in everything!

You don't bat an eyelid when your child walks up the bannister! Hey he does worse!

The bathroom doors have locks on the outside!

but I never have to worry about remembering my car registration he knows everyones!

Hi first time I have read this - my husband and I were laughing and crying together!! fantastic xx

Previous post was me (Lucinda) logged in, but library PC is playing silly beggars and knocked me off

Thoughts please. It is possible my son was damaged in 1988. I am worried about my grandson being vaccinated. Should I be ? What would you do?    http://therefusers.c...m/#.UXq_cqNw1fA

Well done to your DS frantic-mum. Did he enjoy watching any of the swimming Olympic events (just on TV I mean). Maybe he was inspired :-)

We'll keep a close eye on things---brush it under the carpet and pretend it never happened.

I'll be in touch later today---won't be hearing from me anytime soon.

Stupid things professionals say:

Head Teacher--- Bullying doesn't happen in my school, I watch out of windows.

Camhs--- he makes good eye contact ( O sat with his back to them while they had a conversation).!!

When you have continuous lines of pencils end to end running all around the house.

She is a truly talanted little girl. You have every right to be very proud of her!

Well done S!!!!

CP to James a 6 year old - don't stand so close to me you make me feel uncomfortable.

CP to me and dh on our first appointment with her for Autism Assessment - A for Autism followed by giggles of laughter and oh sorry maybe that wasn't appropriate.

CP to me an dh on James' Reception Year Results - he's never going to get into University on those marks.

SALT - ooooh he can't be autistic he's so friendly.

SENCO at school on hearing James had HF Autism and not Aspergers - oh he's quite severe then isn't he? Maybe he needs to go to a special school? Changed her mind quickly after hearing how well he was doing academically which she hadn't bothered to find out!

EP - you are taking away resources from more needy children. He is not severe enough for a Statement - She hadn't clapped eyes on James for 2 years. Oh and we got our Statement!

Just off the top of my head.

"xxxxxx behaves badly at home" - Well she doesn't behave like the other kids ,but we ignore it, so manage it well, as for home, parents must be useless.

Apparently mum says she has a dx of ASD - we don't believe mum, and cant be bothered to look at the paperwork provided.

Oh she got upset in lessons, but we avoided a meltdown so that was ok, -We told her she was a drama queen, (info from child later) and to get on with it, and that worked so there is not a problem.

I am waiting for the one that translates to - we wont tell you anything any more because you take it twist it, and use it against us.

Oh, and he says he wants to be a firefighter when he grows up

We went to a lovely stay and play drop in for kids with special needs yesterday. The Big Kitten really loved it! They had some big sensory nobbly balls and a trampoline and loads of stuff. She was so happy she went to the loo and announced "Mummy, I'm so comfy here my poo is happy to come out"

Hi guys, not long now until Glen moves much nearer home, so looking forward to seeing him more often. I really hope this is a permanent move and that he doesn't have to be moved again.

My husband and I are going to Birmingham on Sunday to see Glen and to bring his bike back. We thought it would be nice to see him one more time before he moves as we won't be able to see him for about 4 or 5 weeks in his new home as he needs time to settle in. I will let you know how our visit goes. :-) He is still very happy and relaxed so long may that continue when he moves.

I don't mean to sound repetitive this is about risk factors. There is a MUCH higher risk of your 1 year old catching measels and getting complications that than the extremely low (or none in my opinion) risks of it causing Autism.

 

And personally, even with having a two children with autism, I would rather my child was alive with autism than not at all. It is as simple as that for me.