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By Popular Demand - The Official Bullshit Thread

Local Authority excuses

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#31 Eggman


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Posted 03 September 2011 - 06:59 PM


CP to James a 6 year old - don't stand so close to me you make me feel uncomfortable.

CP to me and dh on our first appointment with her for Autism Assessment - A for Autism followed by giggles of laughter and oh sorry maybe that wasn't appropriate.

CP to me an dh on James' Reception Year Results - he's never going to get into University on those marks.

SALT - ooooh he can't be autistic he's so friendly.

SENCO at school on hearing James had HF Autism and not Aspergers - oh he's quite severe then isn't he? Maybe he needs to go to a special school? Changed her mind quickly after hearing how well he was doing academically which she hadn't bothered to find out!

EP - you are taking away resources from more needy children. He is not severe enough for a Statement - She hadn't clapped eyes on James for 2 years. Oh and we got our Statement!

Just off the top of my head.
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#32 Upsy Daisy

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Posted 03 September 2011 - 10:39 PM

School - "She's fine when she's in school" = we know she's not but can't want an excuse to ignore this
- "We'll inform her of any changes in routine beforehand" = we'll never inform her of any changes to anything
- "We would like to hold a professionals meeting" = we want to slag you off behind your back
- "She can produce some excellent work when she tries" = she's not achieving her potential most of the time
- "She has a strong character" = she's a pain in the arse to teach
- "We're getting to be able to recognise when she's having difficulties" = Sh*t! You were right all along!
- "You know your child best Mrs Upsy Daisy" = but we think we know her better
- "I'll do my best with limited resources" = I'll forget to do it after a week or so

CAMHS - "Our work is done" = we can't think of how to help her so take her away
- "Are you anxious about her when she's at school?" = I'm looking for a way to blame you
- "As she's on the spectrum we'll see her at any time" = you need a GP referral and a choices appt just like anyone else.
- "I'll post an appt out to you" - don't expect to hear from us for a couple of months
- "She's just saying that to push your buttons" = I don't know how to deal with that
- "She's a highly complex child who is difficult to engage" = she has more control over our conversation than I do!
- "She's showing signs of an attachment disorder" = attachment is my particular professional speciality

Friends and family

"You'd never know she had AS" = she doesn't have AS
"She makes good eye contact" = she doesn't have AS
"My son does that too" = she doesn't have AS
"She's doing well academically isn't she?" = she doesn't have AS
"She's being very sociable" = she doesn't have AS
"When mine do that I know they're overtired" = she doesn't have AS
"Don't all children do that?" = she doesn't have AS

I love this thread!
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#33 naelith


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Posted 03 September 2011 - 11:18 PM

We believe you know that your ds has these needs = we just want you to shut up and take him away
We are coping with her = we are ignoring her because she sits quietly in the corner
he is using his autism to get his own way = the first honest (albeit wrong) opinion I ever got from a teacher
i would just like to put him in the drum room and leave him there = i cant be bothered
school are not seeing the same issues = your neurotic
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#34 scotmum


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Posted 03 September 2011 - 11:34 PM

Your son's not a special school child = we're not f****ing spending a penny of our huge budget on your 'naughty' boy . . .

We don't like to label children = if we 'label' children with Autism/Dyslexia, we'll actually have to DO something about it . . .
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#35 AspergerFiction


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Posted 04 September 2011 - 05:41 AM

Friends and family

"You'd never know she had AS" = she doesn't have AS
"She makes good eye contact" = she doesn't have AS
"My son does that too" = she doesn't have AS
"She's doing well academically isn't she?" = she doesn't have AS
"She's being very sociable" = she doesn't have AS
"When mine do that I know they're overtired" = she doesn't have AS
"Don't all children do that?" = she doesn't have AS

I really like these - so true!
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#36 TiredandGrumpy


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Posted 04 September 2011 - 08:55 AM

Just remembered another quote (short version) from my GP when I took H (NT), my 14 yr old son to see him after an episode of self-harming:

Don't worry H, you are not mad or bad for what you have done. However, CAMHS will probably not be interested in seeing you, because they really do have do deal with the mad or bad. Oh wait....your little brother has autism, doesn't he....perhaps that was inappropriate of me.....
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#37 Halo Mumma

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Posted 04 September 2011 - 07:00 PM

Excellent love this thread, here are a few of mine

SENCO we won't be taking Isaac full time at school when all the other children start as he won't cope = We won't take him because we can't be bothered to see how he will cope or give him the support he needs.

CAMH at first appointment I am seeing you today but I finish at the end of the month so I won't see you again = we gave you this appointment to shut you up now please dont bother us again.

CP I don't deny he has behaviour issues but I think you need to be more consistent with your parenting of him = you are crap parents.

CP I understand your concerns but suggest you see your GP to discuss your own mental health = I', pretty certain you have munchausens.

CP (after diagnosis by another CP) The trouble with Isaac is that he's not really a clear cut case = basically I didnt have a clue but was never going to admit it.
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#38 DaisyMay


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Posted 04 September 2011 - 08:08 PM

Avoid giving him coca-cola and when he gets aggressive, remove him from the situation. See you in 6 months = I'm a locum. If I fob you off, someone else will have to deal with this. In 6 months, I'll be gone.

OR - I'm a professional, and you aren't, so sod off. You're just a rubbish parent and quite frankly, you're just wasting my time AND yours.

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#39 jcmartin


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Posted 09 September 2011 - 10:35 AM

"I'm not commenting on your parenting, but" = I think you're a bad parent.
"He's not as bad as others" = I think you're an overbearing parent.
"He'll be changed by the time he leaves here (school)" = I know nothing about ASD, he'll grow out of it.
"Why all the social stories? He doesn't need these" = I know nothing about ASD

#40 Lionheart


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Posted 09 September 2011 - 12:30 PM

"Cant you just make him do it" and "I think your'e doing really well, if he was mine I would just tell him to get into school"...=

..I really do not have a clue about your child, and no time for this nonsense. Why aren't you loosing your temper?, I would have shouted at him by now and sent him into full meltdown, where he is likely to go running out of the school gates straight into the main road in an area he does not know..
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#41 tedybearr


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Posted 09 September 2011 - 01:46 PM

lead tutor.... if B is really interested in attending the unit then he must prove to us that he wont be asleep = your parenting skills are c****.
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#42 BeautifulSpectrum


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Posted 09 September 2011 - 09:20 PM

Health visitor 'I'm going to refer her but she doesn't seem that bad' = 'Im sorry but I don't have a clue'. (as 'she' being my daughter was diagnosed with severe autism one year later!

#43 sunflower1


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Posted 12 September 2011 - 10:27 PM

Moving forward...(stop banging on about your child, I'm offically closing that discussion down now)</p>
We haven't had any complaints from parents about that (Short Breaks team) when parents were up in arms (that's because they never know who to speak to and get pushed from pillar to post)
'Speech and Language as stipulated by speech and language therapist' (on son's statement for 5 years without a single SALT visit/intervention - it now says SALT one hour a week every week with and lesson planning with SALT input...</p>
<p> </p>

#44 Minty


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Posted 15 September 2011 - 10:28 PM

TA......If he can be stubborn, the his meet his match.
LEA (stand in).....I believe your son can cope with mainstream but I dont really know the case, please explain the situation.

:headspin: :headspin: :applaud :whistle

#45 handle with care...

handle with care...

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Posted 23 September 2011 - 02:47 PM

Diagnosing Pshycologist to A who can't grasp the reality of self concept:

"Do you ever hate yourself?"--- A: "What does that mean?"
"A, do you ever wish you weren't born?"--- A replies: "I can do that?"
"A, do you ever want to kill yourself?"--- A: "I can do that, too?"

Thanks, Doc... :angry:
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