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Anxiety And Acknowledgement We Need Help

HELP!!!

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#1 sonia07

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Posted 25 May 2016 - 01:02 PM

T has been struggling a lot lately, he saying he can't cope anymore, they keep pushing me, I can't do this, I can't go back etc, high levels of anxiety, panic mode, panic attacks, sweating profously, shaking, shutdowns, withdrawn.
Called GP 3 times , 1st GP said he will sign him off but to call him back after meeting with school late that day, meeting didn't go well at all. 2nd dr kept interrupting me I can't even grasp what was agreed and can't get it confirmed, 3rd (was 1st GP) said speak to cahms, and he will call them too.
Cahms have finally called back and these are his recommendations : for him to go back to school and decrease his anxiety,
: arrange meeting to help get better understanding and support for him
: 1:1 counselling sessions at school but there is a waiting list (bearing in mind we have been down this route twice already in primary school and never ends well)
: SS referal to get him help and into school

Now this is the dr who said in his letter earlier this year and I quote ..... Concerns ... Increasing levels of anxiety which appears to be related to education and school, which has been leading to increased irritability and withdrawal.

I am lost and never been in this situation before and struggling to get him help and support, it's causing lots of increased stress and anxiety on myself has I am not being listened too.

HELP!!!

#2 imperfect parent

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Posted 26 May 2016 - 07:28 AM

Have CAMHS met T?  If not how can they possibly gauge the level of anxiety and decide a  timescale for the return to school?  The advice may be sound, but it seems to me it's general rather than specific, and doesn't take into account what has happened previously.

 

Having been through 2 teenagers school refusing due to anxiety I honestly feel it's a very unpredictable time, and what you need are supportive people to build bridges.  Many schools do not have the time or training so they are limited in what support can be provided, though some are excellent.

 

Personally I would take some time to find out from T what it is that he finds difficult about school and consider how to address though issues.  For my youngest the school bus arriving late every day was an issue; school said it didn't matter as they didn't mark him late, totally missing how he felt walking in at a time he would rightly expect  to be punished for arriving at had he walked to school.  Another issue for him was that he had 1 lesson a week with his registration group, and no familiar peers leading to isolation.  It was a big school and most other children had peers from their primary school in their year, my son didn't.  Bullying was also an issue.  However the biggest issue was the school and LA denial of anxiety which included them writing to our GP to tell him not to issue sick notes for alleged anxiety.

 

Despite all the hurdles, and unpleasantness we appealed a note in lieu and got a statement to get him into a school that understood what he needed and he has thrived.

 

Anxiety and school refusal are an Education Welfare issue, Social services an be invaluable (they were for us).

 

The best advice I can give is take the pressure off; not just T, but yourself.   Keep talking, and tell people exactly how it is.

 

I know there is often debate about getting youngsters moving, but I have found both mine to be totally immovable in the grip  of anxiety.  We keep a routine of getting up at the same time; though sometimes it can only be achieved with reduced expectation for the day, and sometimes with DS1 I have to allow him more time before getting up, but this is clearly linked to anxiety, and not to the amount of sleep or time of going to bed.

 

You are not the only one struggling, and you can only do your best.  Be open to trying new things, but be honest with your child about what you are doing and why, listening to what they say/do in response.



#3 sonia07

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Posted 26 May 2016 - 10:45 AM

he been under cahms for 2 years, they dx his anxiety. They think possible social communication disorder but it keeps getting brushed under the carpet has I think he is masking it in school.
I know the work he does is limited - not even 1/2 a A4 page when it comes to homework, school books it's mostly worksheets and limited stuff in his books. I have questioned if he is struggling to put pen to paper and salt was called in but I feel this wasn't looked at.
What I am getting lately from him is ' I can't cope anymore' 'they keep pushing me' it's all getting too much' 'I can't do this, I just can't' 'it's not just the work, it's the teachers, the whole building, it's all just too much'. This too me sounds sensory but school are not seeing this even though there has been a few incidents of him ripping apart footwear, the shredded tie on the way home last week. All I am getting from school is he is laughing and joking and playing with his friends and he is making progress. . Feel they are being blind and arrogant they are not wanting to look at the bigger picture.
Cahms opinion has changed and I have always had his support, he has always said its education related and has increased since he started at secondary school.
I am struggling to function a bit today, t is struggling too even though he was chatting and laughing about going to school today.
I try and have a chat with him every day, just casually has sometimes saying the word school and going to school causes anxiety to get worse!!

#4 Maverick

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Posted 01 June 2016 - 01:02 PM

I think the sensory side is worth looking into as if there are any sensitivities it can cause major anxiety.  Have a look at the sensory integration network website as it has some really useful info on it.  If some of it is sensory related there are lots of calming activities you could do (and the school) to help.  If you recognise a lot of sensory issues it might be worth thinking about getting a sensory assessment.  They are really helpful.

 

.Also do you use a anxiety scale at home to judge how anxious T so he can tell you?  The 5 point scale is a good one and the school should be using what is called an 'Anxiety Curve'.  Even if he is not displaying the anxiety at school the staff should be aware and putting interventions in so he does not come home and fall apart.

 

You sound like you are a fighter and are doing really well - be kind to yourself xx






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