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Holiday Frustration... Grrr!


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#1 tracky2

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Posted 14 October 2017 - 12:31 PM

Hi just needing a little rant,

 

Holidays have started here in Scotland, two weeks of bliss.... right?

Hmm... maybe not in our household.

 

Is it possible to forget that each year during the October break is a nightmare? because i keep managing too!

 

L struggles untill about two weeks before the end of term to settle back in to school after the summer, this year especially with new class, very new teacher... now that's another story for another time, and new classroom.

 

So now the holidays roll in and we've got a teenager on our hands at 8, talking back,refusing to do the simplest requests, not wanting to leave the house.  Hes a different boy'  i'm aware hes struggling apart from his behaviour his pupils delate massively.  Odd i know but its one of the signs for us.

 

I'm trying to limit expectations and keep routine where possible.  It doesn't help i guess that his expectations are already high with us going to Manchester in a few days to the Lego discovery.  I'm preparing him for that and he seems keen.  Were trying a hotel again and we've managed to get a B and B with bunk beds like home,  fingers crossed.  This may not go well but well c... got to try help him adjust to some changes.

 

Its his behaviour and attitude i'm struggling with, i explained to him that he can't talk to us like he is doing as hes crossing the line.  We've spoke before about listening to mum and dad and when there saying to stop its because whats hes saying is not appropriate or acceptable.  This time i related it to school and not saying things to the teacher because he knows its not right, to remember that when hes speaking to people outside of school. Not sure if that will work either as he sees that as two separate situations never to be crossed.

 

Its tough when socially he sees no wrong in what hes doing.  We had to go to a Dr's appointment the other day and i was sweating buckets managing him in the waiting area.  His anxiety was high from the start he refused to bring his tablet but his sister had hers cue crabbing at said tablet, refusing to share or give it back, raised voices, not listening and generally causing a disturbance.  distraction was time limited, he refused to come outside and could not see that he shouldn't be behaving that way around strangers etc,  to him they weren't their, there was no embarrassment.  

 

I had to remain calm and focused, however the looks i was receiving weren't helping, Ls a big boy who looks like he's just misbehaving and being horrible to his parents and i suppose i looked like a mother who couldn't control their son.  Extremely annoying, i guess people were being judgemental but they weren't to know.

 

Its just so tiring, i feel his ASD is becoming more obvious now and we still haven't got a DX still not even on the waiting list.

 

Anyway rant over for another day... hope everyone has calm, peaceful holidays when they come. :)

 

Tracky

 

 



#2 bluewater

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Posted 16 October 2017 - 12:44 PM

Hi Tracky,

 

It's sounds really tough. I used to hate waiting rooms, (amongst many other things) and I often felt other people were judging me for my badly behaved ds1... 

 

I hope you have a good trip to lego discovery



#3 tracky2

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Posted 16 October 2017 - 08:09 PM

Hi blue water, we’re holding up pretty well.

We were stuck in a traffic jam that put three hours to our journey L held up well actually.

Amazing he slept at the hotel with very little anxiety - only wishing my hand to fall asleep and me having to lie on the bed next to him. It was even no hardship for us to listen to CBeebies whilst fallen no asleep on his music system. Normally at that point we would cue throwing up. So we’ve had success their. First ever, he says it felt like home as we managed to bring all his things from home- blankets, stuffed toys and music.

Really proud of him

We did have a couple off meltdowns today and several bouts off challenging attitude which is the norm at the moment... but all in all a good relaxed day. He’s quietly building Lego at the moment.

Looking forward to sea life centre tomorow. Another place of interest for him.

A day at a time, actually it’s more like an activity at a time for us as things are so changeable. But we’re holding on fine.

Hope holidays are going well for you and you are managing within them intact

#4 queen claudia

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Posted 18 October 2017 - 07:10 PM

Hi Tracky, sounds like its going well so far fingers crossed!

 

I always dreaded waiting rooms too in fact dreaded pretty much everything like that even the bus trip home was difficult!

 

I used to buy him a lollipop to last the journey lol as it would distract him. Like your son LE was totally oblivious to how his behaviour looked to everyone else!



#5 tracky2

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Posted 18 October 2017 - 09:56 PM

Quick question, do 8 year old boys go through hormonal surges.

We’ve managed these few days away but both me and my dh are exhausted managing the frequent bouts of challenging behaviour, everything asked of him was a loud argument with him attempting to intimidate. Of course these arguments were repetitive and long even when we would calmly cut him off and deflect. He would continue on regardless.

It’s hard for me to tell if it’s normal age and stage or due to his other difficulties. I guess I’m confused as I’m still struggling for dx 2 years on I self doubt. Not that I guess a dx will help but it might give me a way forward.

It’s so stressful and tiring dealing with all this lately...

#6 bluewater

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Posted 19 October 2017 - 11:23 AM

I'm not sure. Ds1 has always argued vehemently, and circularly, and with aggression (very worrying managing situations between ds1 and others, having to stand up to him and sometimes also if he was in a depressed state) regardless of strategies to divert/move on from fairly young. He also (still) is always right with no compromise.

Whenever I described ds1, even now (he is 16), people would say "oh so and so is just like that", but it was a matter of degree and intensity and it is difficult to manage, exhausting, and we could never let our vigilance drop.

#7 queen claudia

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Posted 20 October 2017 - 11:54 AM

I don't know about hormonal changes but I know that 8 was one of our most difficult times with LE.

 

He is now 14 and is so much easier in every way.





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